I wrote a long post on what I wanted out of marriage, and then I realized (and blogging is great for this) that it might be just off topic for the conversation we’re having. Or maybe I was just scared! (I leave that open. Grown women can have second thoughts at any time and we often do.)

So let me broaden things out a bit. I’m one of the unmarried over-40 college-educated African-American women who appear to be causing people to trip out. I’ve had my concerns about what marriage means both to the people in marriages and to society. I’ve been speaking to some never-married black women, and gay men and women, who question the structure of the institution. Why is marriage an institution that confers legal benefits and joint ownership; tax structures and healthcare options? Should it be as powerful now in our life as it was? Should it be expanded (for example, to gay couples) or legally reconceived? Read More »